What is your definition of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM)?

I realize that I should also recognize a large reason I myself chose to stay at home to care for my children...my mother. She stayed home when my brother and I were young, despite the penalties (e.g., less retirement money, missed wages, lower salary base due to missed years of employment). She made us to feel more important than her career. I felt so loved and care for, I want the same for my girls. I want to replicate how I felt then for them. She appeared to love every moment being with us (even though I know realize that was probably not the case). Either really good acting on "bad" days or rose tinted glasses...perhaps a bit of both.



I distinctly remember feeling upset at her decision to return to work when we were both is school all day. Of course, I could not see the bigger picture, all I saw was my perspective...I still needed her and was afraid she would not be there for us anymore. Of course, over time her actions changed that flawed perspective....but it was how I felt initially. I want my girls to know how much I loved and still do love my job prior to having them, but that it will always be there waiting for me to return to it (luckily for me) when they no longer need me as they do now. I am willing to sacrifice the joy I get from being a apeech-language therapist for the infinitely more rewarding job of being a part of their everyday...even the long tough days. And although my choice is not right for everyone, it is right for my family.



Ok recognition given, (thank you mom!) now on to the next thought on my mind :)



So as I mentioned in my first post, I am reading a book by Penelope Leach titled "Child Care Today." In the chapter on child care provided by SAHM's ("Care by Full-Time Mothers"), she defines a SAHM as a woman "who cares for her own children without regularly using any type of child care and to the exclusion of paid employment." Does anyone reading have issues with this definition? I know I do...ok so she had to be specific and set some line in the sand, but come on now! I think a better definition would be a woman who is the primary childcare provider of her child(ren). Her definition would exclude a lot of SAHM's I know, including myself. I have 2 clients I see every weekend in their homes (oops I contribute financially!) and I regularly use the childcare center in the gym (oopps paid childcare how dare I). I know of moms who have home businesses that they do in the "spare" time, are they not SAHMs? So if I am not a SAHM then what the hell am I?? Discuss.......